We need to move away

Posted on 20/09/2010 by admin
My daughters boyfriend thought I knew all along and was happy to accept.

Last December 19th my daughter was having her Christmas night out with her friends from college. She had been staying with her grandpa as it was easier to get to college from his house. At around 5pm my Dad phoned to say she had arrived home safely but was very drunk. Later, maybe 6 or 6.30 she
called me asking for help. My husband and I got in the car and travelled down to my Dad’s house laughing about how we must have brought her up well since she was asking for assistance where we would have been too ashamed to ask for help when we were drunk. She was 18 years old.

When I went in to her bedroom I thought she was sleeping at first and just bent over to check her out then she said ‘Mum, I need to tell you something.’  She was crying, I was frantic, out of my depth, my husband was in the living room with my Dad – oblivious to any of what was to transpire next. Read more

A Grandmothers story

Posted on 20/09/2010 by admin
My beautiful 2yr old granddaughter followed me into the kitchen, stood by the fridge, pulled her leggings and pants down, arched her back. She pointed up between her legs, and said, “daddy hurt here”.

This was the start of a terrible journey of deep distress, shock disbelief in the child protection team, law, social services life and us.

Fear was always with us — and still remains.

Fear is a terrible power for fundamental change in children and adults. It creates bullies and victims. It is fundamental, we learn to manage fear. To use fear as a positive challenge for change—not to become a victim as I did—to my ongoing remorse. To be effective in stopping child abuse, be it physical, psychological, or sexual—we must manage our fear. Use it for positive change to allow all our children to grow into psychologically healthy adults. The burdens of hatred, blame and impotence are too heavy to carry and stop us being effective. Read more

Parental Responsibility for convicted perpetrators?

Posted on 20/09/2010 by admin
I am the mother of two daughters who have been sexually abused. My eldest was the abusers step daughter and my youngest is the abusers natural daughter. My eldest was able to give evidence against the abuser in court and he has been convicted on several serious counts under the sexual offences act. Whilst my youngest daughter did disclose sexual abuse to the police and a social worker, she was too afraid and emotionally confused to give formal evidence to the police and no charges have been bought in relation to her.

I understand that it is quite common for more than one child in a family to have been abused but the offender may not be charged (for various reasons) with all of the offences relating to each child. I also understand that many children do not disclose at all.

I have a number of horrors relating to our experiences, which I am currently investigating and may need your help with but for now I would like to know why provisions are not made under the Childrens act 1989/2004 to protect ALL children from a sexual predator. Read more

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