Just Wanted To Say

I just wanted to say, in response to this entry, “don’t give up hope”. Taking this through the Family Court is an uphill struggle, but Courts can be persuaded to make an Order for no contact, even if the CPS decide not to prosecute.

My children are 14 and 10 years old now. When my son was 7 he made a clear allegation of abuse against his father, my husband. After a six week wait, the CPS decided not to prosecute. After an 18 month wait, the police found pornography on my husband’s computers and titles which suggested that files may contain sexual images of children , but he had installed special software to cover his tracks and the police did not have the software necessary, resources, time etc to look behind it. So again a decision was made not to prosecute. However, the Family Court Judge ordered that an independent IT expert should examine the computers (at my expense) and carry out ‘keyword searches’. The expert found over 100,000 sites containing images of bestiality, rape, incest, bondage, so called “Lolita” sites and that he belonged to a ‘Club’ sharing this material.

It was clear that in the Family Court, the most important factor was that the children were adamant that they did not want contact with their Father and after numerous meetings with a CAHMS psychologist, Social Services on behalf of CAFCAS, reported this (repeatedly) to the Court. My husband then applied for the children to be cross examined. I think this was the ‘last straw’ for the Judge. Anyway, after a lengthy hearing the Court ordered no contact.

This is a summary of what happened. The whole ‘battle’ took almost 3 years and cost me £65,000 in legal fees, of which I recovered only £8,000 and even that will not be re paid until the family home is sold. The children and I left our home and moved 500 miles away to avoid continual harassment from my husband.  However, since the Order was made the children have been much happier and settled and are thriving in school.

I am glad my children are safe, but a number of issues concern me. Firstly, as I was not eligible for legal aid I had to use all my savings, and run up debt to fund legal fees. The children and I did nothing wrong but I do sometimes feel, when I pay back loans etc from my salary every month that we have been punished. When the family home is eventually sold, the debts will be cleared but then there will be insufficient funds available to buy a new home for the children and me to live in. Also, although my children are safe, there is nothing to stop my ex husband being in contact with other children.

CAMHS have been brilliant throughout and if you are not already using this resource, I highly recommend that you contact them.. They have really helped my children work through their pain and anger and understand how they were manipulated and tricked.

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