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Archive for September 20th, 2010

A Grandmothers story

Posted on 20/09/2010 by admin
My beautiful 2yr old granddaughter followed me into the kitchen, stood by the fridge, pulled her leggings and pants down, arched her back. She pointed up between her legs, and said, “daddy hurt here”.

This was the start of a terrible journey of deep distress, shock disbelief in the child protection team, law, social services life and us.

Fear was always with us — and still remains.

Fear is a terrible power for fundamental change in children and adults. It creates bullies and victims. It is fundamental, we learn to manage fear. To use fear as a positive challenge for change—not to become a victim as I did—to my ongoing remorse. To be effective in stopping child abuse, be it physical, psychological, or sexual—we must manage our fear. Use it for positive change to allow all our children to grow into psychologically healthy adults. The burdens of hatred, blame and impotence are too heavy to carry and stop us being effective. (more…)

Parental Responsibility for convicted perpetrators?

Posted on 20/09/2010 by admin
I am the mother of two daughters who have been sexually abused. My eldest was the abusers step daughter and my youngest is the abusers natural daughter. My eldest was able to give evidence against the abuser in court and he has been convicted on several serious counts under the sexual offences act. Whilst my youngest daughter did disclose sexual abuse to the police and a social worker, she was too afraid and emotionally confused to give formal evidence to the police and no charges have been bought in relation to her.

I understand that it is quite common for more than one child in a family to have been abused but the offender may not be charged (for various reasons) with all of the offences relating to each child. I also understand that many children do not disclose at all.

I have a number of horrors relating to our experiences, which I am currently investigating and may need your help with but for now I would like to know why provisions are not made under the Childrens act 1989/2004 to protect ALL children from a sexual predator. (more…)

The Person Next Door

Posted on 20/09/2010 by admin

I was a single mum to a 4and a half old boy 11 and a half years ago. My son and I moved into a rented house. My landlord was also a single parent to two boys. His wife had died two years ago when I started to rent his house, because he had bought another.

We got friendly and became a couple, so he moved back into his old house with me, and I looked after the three boys. My partner knew the older couple next door for years. He moved into our house with his parents when he was just three years old. I met the couple after moving in she was lovely, but he was a bit odd. They had a daughter a year younger than me who lived 10 doors down. The daughter and I got on; my partner’s boys were the same age as her two daughters and played out with them before I even knew the boys. We became good friends and got pregnant at the same time, she was due six weeks before me. I wanted a little girl and she wanted a boy. My friend moved away before the babies were born. I lost touch for a bit, but I then visited her when her baby was born and soon after I had my baby girl.

Three years passed and then I received a phone call from my friend. By this time I had moved away from our old house to a bigger house. I still talked to my friend’s mother because I lived in the same village and asked if I knew of any houses rent. As luck would have it there was a house across the road from me.

(more…)

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